happy birthday to me!

ok my birthday was yst and although it wasnt the best birthday ever im kinda glad that God taught me something through it. anyway on sat was steamboat/hotplate party at my hse with some church buddies and yeahhh. no matter how i dont see them very often or really get to talk to them tt much sometimes, they will always be the people i feel the most comfortable with :) then on sun celebrated with cell then had family dinner at hai ting which was yum yummy cantonese food haha. so i guess monday kinda felt like an anticlimax cos everyone was like focoused on mugging and stuff but celebrated with og during lunch break then mugged in sch for the rest of the day. i guess i was qt sad la at first cos i look forward to my birthday like for the whole year and it seemed abit horrible to spend it mugging cos cas are nxt week and everyone is too busy mugging to go out and stuff, and i guess i was abit angry too at myself for anticipating it too much, and i was abit pissed at pple who kept asking me why i dressed nicely if i wasnt going out cos 1) i didnt need it rubbed in tt i wasnt going out, and 2) i dont see whats so surprising about wanting to look nice on your birthday. ok but anyway bascally i just wasnt very happy la. then i kinda felt God ask me to go and talk to Him, and i kinda fought it at first, like i just felt like moping, but in the end i went and the moment i started praying it was like God comforting me and as i read psalm 139 it reminded me that God knows what i want and how i feel and He knew me the day i was born and He made me and loved me for the past 20 years, and i could feel Him asking me why it was more important to me to spend my birthday with my friends when He was waiting for me to want to spend it with Him. and i realised that even on my birthday, its not about me, because if it were, i was just setting myself up for disappointment, but if i looked to Him and looked to Him instead, i would never ever be able to expect too much because God is above all human expectation. and i really thanked him so much for showing me the real meaning of things, and i felt so much better after our chat even though there were alot of pple walking around and i was like crying like mad so was abit wierd but it was worth it to meet with God and be taught a wonderful lesson by Him. God truly does not put us through trials for nothing but moulds us and teaches us through them! which makes the trials so much easier to bear. so i felt much better after tt tho i was kinda tired and afraid pple would ask me if i cried haha cos my eyes were red but noone did! so yay. and i realised tt some pple are really really nice to me even though i dont know them tt well :) yeah anyway when i went home i felt much happier with the day and then at abt 11 i got a mysterious call frm a whispering mike and i thought he was abit mad till my door flew open and like 10 pple were outisde my room surprising me haha. i was like super shocked la! but it was really sweet of them so muthiah mike chiara newman mok sterling wenbo xueying and bryan, thanks!!!!! *beams* and most of all i thank God because He allowed me to learn something and taught me that i should only rely on Him and then still by His great grace, still allowed me to end my day well after i realised my mistake and repented.

my God is an awesome God indeed :)